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Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
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i last fucking updated like 58 weeks ago. holly ballsack.
i miss harrison. and i miss all my old friends.
i dont miss livejournal.
cant believe u ppl still post on here!
you know where i live. nugga.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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yea so its time for me to BRAG! haha okay well i deserve it.
so if you know me
you are VIP
my talent agency rented out a club and is hosting its 3rd anniversary party on the 29th. yea im going to be one of the girls helping to host that shit!
people from wilhemena, ford, elite, click, and other agencies as well as local and international/national magazines and fashion designers will be there!!
high society bitches!!
i can invite 2 friends over 21 to be on the VIP LIST and as many of my family members as i want can come FOR FREE and also be VIPs...oh shit it aint by bithday but I GOT MY NAME ON THAT CAKE!
how you like me now???
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 15th, 2006
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Sunday, December 10th, 2006
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i pull it all apart for you dear. i wait for my heart to shift gear.
i think im okay.
about everything.
about this one and that one.
i havent found my place yet.
ill keep looking.
you didnt exist a year ago. meditate on this.
deftones concert with lance tomorrow at clutch.
and how to i feel about all this?
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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mommy and me :)
mom and my sister megan, throwin the deuces!
jamie and amy!!! haha
you are my sunshine..
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
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a cute new friend really likes me.
i had good, spontaneus sex today with someone i dont even fucking know. that ROCKED!!
i have a really enjoyable schoolgirl crush on my 16 yr old friend haha. i dont fucking care hes almost 17, and we have good conversations. he holds my hand and when im with him i get butterflies in my tummy. :)
i missed that feeling. and i really like it.
i like driving home from dropping him off and listening to girly music and thinking about everything good in my life right now.
and pink cigarettes.
i am just your ordinary
average everyday sane psycho
supergoddess.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
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| Time: | 5:49 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | all the girls steppin out for a public afair all night lets. |
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Don't Quit
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn.
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'till dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure,
Until you fail to try.
-Jill Wolf
i thought you could use that poem. i posted it just for you...anyone who reads it :)
every girl should see "Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer," i recommend it.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 18th, 2006
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im going to write a book called "weird shit happens to me," cuz weird shit always fucking happens to me. i can not escape it.
in example:
>my birfday will be on friday the 13th, last time that happened, it was the worst day of my life [[i dont wanna get into the details]].
>i paid for both of my junkie friends to use today. without knowing it. thanks guys. thanks for using while i was right outside too...wow fuck that.
>saw someone i havent seen in two yrs today, went to a head shop with them, and bought a piece, and exchanged phone numbers. cute.
>OH!!! and the best one of all! i realized yesterday that im hopelessly in love with one of my old friends. which actually isnt that cool at all, and kind of sucks cuz well, a lot of reasons? sure...hennywayz.
>10 in my guitar class. makes for fun times.
>too many of my guy friends flirt with me, its disgusting. fuck, that. words can not express how sick i am of that shit.
sex in the city is the best show ever. period.
get free by the vines is my new...thing.
NONONONO i mean SEXYBACK ...oh god yes...
yea well.
head explosion is imminent.
:-D
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
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| Time: | 9:33 pm. |
| Mood: |  shweet. | | Music: | yo dis is no lie me and my whities gettin high... |
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Mah birthday is in exactly one month from this day.
Ah will be eighteen. kewel.
Guess wut im doin fo mah birffday yo!
So0o0o...Alaina calls me and is like yoyoyo i got some bomb shit planned fo yo b-day!! and im all "sweet niggie, wut??" and den she tells me...SHE GOT TICKETS FOR US TO GO TO JERRY SPRINGER AAHHHH!!!
that shits going to be madwhack. we r road trippin to chicago the day b4 and gettin a hotel with jamie, robbie, and chris who are coming too, then the next day (the 16th of Oct) we will be in a live studio audience watching LIVE JERRY SPRINGER AHAHAHAHA!!1 thats TOO funny!
oh sheesh..
hennywayzz.
met a cutie patootie in my stress management class at occ n we hung out y day, it was pretty cool mann, i think i mite like this kid, and thats just plain silly.
and i am going to amanda's shin dig friday, that will be amusing.
also, had to tell a creepy, gross, dirty, weird thirty one year old to fucking leave me alone cuz he be calling my friends asking them what im doing and what i like in guys. what.the.fuck. icky, is the word my friend.
and other than that, nothing. gwa!
i love you all my little sugar coated candy canes.
life is fucking, sweet! <33
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, September 8th, 2006
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| Time: | 7:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  where is my mind??. | | Music: | it seems that everythings gone wrong since canada came along. |
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pictures are entertaining, right?
got mah hurr did,
and yez i know they are all upside down n shit but i thought they looked more interesting and fun that way so whatev.
and jessica was there on that lovely summer afternoon with the garage sales and the hot old men and the ten dollar couches...
snap diggity.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, August 25th, 2006
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| Subject: | :-D |
| Time: | 12:07 am. |
| Mood: |  horny. | | Music: | dont you wish your girlfriend was a freaaakkk like mee?. |
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YOU NEED TO ROCK MY WORLD
i saw amanda greenieee today. i love that girl. she the shitt. adrianna is big pimpin as well. ah reminiscing is fun.
here's me being giddy over a boy.
and i feel bad about being happy cuz i dont know if that...thing...in lansing knows that im done with him or not yet. oh well, fuck it. gwahahaha.
so my story. its pretty cool.
i met this boy when mason and i were dating freshman year, and the very moment i saw him i immediately thought he was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen.
later in highschool he and i became pretty good friends. then when mason and i broke up, and i began dating other people, he and i suddenly got physical. and we realized we had both liked each other for a long time, but he was still with his girlfriend, and i was beginning to fall for kenny. so nothing else ever came of it.
later i think kenny found out that me and this boy had fucked and he got jealous that we still hung out, so i stopped talking to the boy. but now this boy has contacted me and he and i are both out of our relationships. i dont look forward to anything but being this boys friend...cuz thats all i want from him, but im really happy that hes in my life again.
i like the way things are working out in my life lately.
ps. i lied. i actually want to be his friend AND fuck the living fucking daylights out of him.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
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| Time: | 1:15 pm. |
| Mood: | everything's fucking okay.. | | Music: | I CANT WAIT BY HILLARY DUFF DUFF MUFF. |
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ive been on the market a week and a half and ive already been asked out by one guy, asked out by another, and met at least four more that are dropping hints that they want my fucking nutts. wtf.
too bad i had to turn down the offer tho, i need to be on my own for a long time and i have nothing to offer in a relationship as it is, cuz i just dont know what i want.
all i really want from a guy right now is a lay.
and i had the chance to do that with a hot guy too...and i turned it down. i guess im just not that kind of person anymore.
this is the best song!! lol
how it happens i dont care
if its raining, or what i wear
i know today is taking me where im meant to be
it doesnt matter where i go
with my bowling shoes
and my rock star phone
im waiting for a friend to call
or the rain to fall
life goes by
who know why?
i cant wait for the world to spin
i cant wait to be happening
oh whats it gonna take?
i cant wait for the time to come
when ill be shining like the sun
everybody has their day
when things just seem to go their way
an angel's gonna smile on me
when its meant to be
cuz anything is possible
no matter how incredible
you never know who i mite meet on this crowded street
i havent got forever
and i havent got all day
i dont want my world to stay the same
so wheres the magic moment to carry me away?
hillary duff, i cant wait.
haha i love hillary duff. wtf i dont care, she the shit.
+++AMYS END OF SUMMER TRIP TO LAKE MI+++
so chyea went to manistee for a couple days on lake mi and checked out the sights and met people. and let me tell you, it was a weird time. i met this cute 25 yr old guy there and ended up going to his house and meeting two of his friends who has just moved back from hawaii and we smoked together and they told me about how they were traveling a lot and it was real interesting. i left around 4am and the dude gave me his number, but ill never talk to him again.
then the next day i was tanning on the beach reading a good book my dad got me about the eightfold path of buddhism and then like 20 hot, built guys my age started playing volleyball infront of me so i checked that out until they left (lol) and of course none of them came to talk to me in my little red bikini so i walked this pier that goes about a quarter mile into lake mi with a lighthouse at the end and watched the water crash over giant rocks and it was beautiful. on my way back to shore i met this old guy, older than my dad, who worked as a teacher there and he and i ended up going to his car and smoking a joint together, damn that was funny. he was like
"ur not a cop right?"
"no."
"okay, want to go back to my house and ill roll another one? u dont have to be worried, im not going to do anything," or something to that effect and i says,
"look man im not worried i know how to defend myself i take martial arts," so we went back to his house and smoked and watched the country music channel and talked about things then he simply took me back to my dads truck i was driving and i went into the town and went shopping.
i also caught two big ass salmon, and there u have my weird trip to manistee michigan.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 19th, 2006
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| Time: | 11:50 am. |
| Mood: |  exanimate. | | Music: | everyone has to face down their demons... |
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ill be on the beaches of lake mi until weds.
reading, swimming, getting a tan, and checkin out the hot boys.
alone.
just me, myself, and i. yess.
ps. keanu reeves is beautiful.
[[dont judge me?]]
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
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| Time: | 2:12 pm. |
| Mood: | optimistic. | | Music: | you're so yesterday. |
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss.
i find it funny you sacraficed the one person who loves you for cocaine and easy chicks.
today i woke up more awake than i have felt in years. not concerned with anything, no tears. cuz im done with that shit.
school is like, next week n such. omfggggg, cool.
i have everything to look forward to,
ie: my own happiness.
i am so effing care-free.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 14th, 2006
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| Time: | 3:01 pm. |
| Mood: | confused. | | Music: | yall niggas cant fuck wit my niggas hoe. |
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| You Are 24% Control Freak | 
You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go.
You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent. |
| You Are Rain | 
You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.
You are best known for: your touch
Your dominant state: changing |
i think that stupid thing's actually, right.
| You Belong in 1962 |
If you scored...
1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!
1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.
1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!
1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.
1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good! |
that one too!!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 12th, 2006
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| Time: | 4:18 pm. |
| Mood: | excited. | | Music: | hoku?!?!. |
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today so far, i got home with kt at 3am and then we both passed out, i ate a lot cuz i had the munchies.
i took her to jams, then my salon of choice so she could check it out, then she and her mom got into a big of a disagreement so i introduced her to yoga, hoping it would cheer her up, like it has/does for me.
we went to bikram yoga on orchard lake, i had never been there before, i only go to astarte yoga at 8 mile and farmington, but they werent open. bikram is really nice, and i think ill be attending there from now on, i dislike their lack of variety (they only teach bikram-style yoga which is more physical and doesnt tend to incorporate the spiritual side of yoga as much) but i like the teacher, hes an intelligent man, and im always open to new expieriences (plus, a month of unlimmited visits for 30$, wtf, thats a great deal!!).
so while kt was in session i read some local magazines about eastern tradition here in farmington and the metro detroit area and saw a listing for meditation classes close to my house, so i jotted down the number, and im going to call later! holy shit, i was just thinking "i really want to get into some meditation classes, i effing wonder if there are any nearby?" so thats going to be great. im stoked.
i really have a new found love for this world, and everything in it. i especially have a new found love for myself.
and though kenny isnt an active part of my life now, im so content, im just happy ridin this high for now. but the thing is, its everyday i make some new amazing discovery about myself, and i dont think this high will go away. so right now im happy with this time apart from him, im learning a lot period.
let me say, it wasnt more than a yr n a half ago that i cried everynight cuz i thought i would never be truly happy in my life. now i am TRULY happy, and it comes so naturally now. my former therapist told me the depression would be a life long struggle but i have practically over come it. now i feel complete, and (for lack of a better term) "normal." and i did it almost all on my own, and the help i recieved, i am no less than grateful for. so basically, im in love with someone...her name is AMY JOY HAGEN. and i can say i am honestly proud to be who i am today.
i discovered a great book today called "how to meditate" i believe, author, mcdonald. and im buying it later. i love reading. the author is genius and she writes about how to meditate to get over material attatchments, which i could use help with, given my circumstances with kenny, and i realize now that he is only a human, and he is not consistant--as nothing is--and he can not bring me true happiness. only i can. but he does bring me joy, and i love him. but only i can fulfil myself.
after i take kt to work, im going to go to my moms and cook with her, and watch a movie with my little sister (Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, i think?), then when my dad gets home, he and i are going to Music Go Round and hes going to buy me an aucustic guitar for my OCC Guitar 1 class. wow so...much...fucking...joy...cant...contain...myself.
wow im glad i wrote all those feelings down, and immortalized them, i dont want to forget days like these.
ps i hope kt feels better. but i know right where she is. her path to spiritual growth is just beginning and as i grow everyday and learn much everyday, maybe i can be a sort of mentor to her, and help open her mind to what it is i have come to know that has so profoundly changed me.
i must say i am not one little bit like the amy i was not even a year ago. and thats freaking okay. i love myself now, and i wouldnt change anything about myself except my unwillingness to commit to anything. but working on myself is something i consciously do each day. so in time, that too, will be a nonissue.
so much love.
amy the happiest girl ever, hagen.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, August 11th, 2006
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| Time: | 6:51 pm. |
| Mood: | contemplative. | | Music: | people say that its just a phase, to act my age, well i am.. |
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http://www.chatterbean.com/ruhappy/
Quiz Score: 10 out of 12
Compared with others, you are quite a happy person. You seem to maintain a good balance between what you expect out of life and what you actually receive. High scorers like you are socially well-adjusted. You are attractive to others because of your live-and-let-live attitude.
kenny and i are not together. which is okay.
the last two days have been reallyreally weird.
i was at a party last night and met a lot of weird boys, one of which was a really pushy asshole drunk that wouldnt get off my nutsack. and im really glad i didnt end up staying there the whole night.
my friends are the shit.
i cant wait to start going to occ.
i love myself.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
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| Time: | 1:59 am. |
| Mood: |  the sun.. | | Music: | this is a story about billy joe and bobby sue. |
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i really loathe, detest, and even hate the person i used to be.
im very thankful i have friends, family, and a loving boyfriend who accepted all my faults, and continue to accept the ones i still have.
why do i bother to update this thing?
may as well, since i dont have a fucking myspace.
having a bonfire monday night to honor my beloved cousin rachel who is coming up from ohio.
let me know if you would like to attend.
byob.
just say no...to myspace.com.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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if you can download music...download wake up by coheed and cambria...its beautiful...
a lot of people in the world are bitter, and that's unfortunate.
i'm in a big hurry to grow up. and i dont want that.
the world feels like its moving at much too fast a pace.
*the good earth by pearl s. buck is an amazing read.
i like green tea.
and good company.
and sobriety.
yet smoking a joint and talking about life is good too.
my friends are changing.
everything's...changing.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 1:41 am. |
| Mood: | nostalgic. | | Music: | go ask alice, when she's ten feet tall.... |
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wow. we're all old n shit now.
i really miss harrison...and the little children i knew so well there.
time goes on, now we are all forced into adulthood. amazing. i remember running down the halls of east.
hey, i like ur boobs too alaina.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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yellow_dolphin's journal
